Out of the Twilight Zone

By Paul James-Griffiths Enfield, London, England.

Born in Malaysia in May 1962 into a Christian home, I lived for a short time on Penang Island, where my father was serving in the Royal Air Force. After returning to England and reaching my teenage years, I rejected the church as a hypocritical, weak-willed fossil - about as much use as paying real life bills with 'Monopoly' money. I always believed there was something 'out there' and more to life than just what I could 'see', but my experiences in church were enough to put anybody off.

It started at a Roman Catholic convent school. The nuns there, with one or two exceptions, were cruel and apparently unloving. They used to whip us with metal rulers if we ever touched the statues of the saints. A school rumour that God was a fire-breathing half-man, half bull creature who punished small children didn't help! We were ruled by fear. My second experience was at a private boarding school where church services were in Latin and we were beaten if we could not remember the correct responses. When a former monk came to teach us French, we expected him to be a man of God. Instead he sexually abused the boys in the dormitories, until he was caught in the act and thrown out. Thirdly, at a well known English public school, I refused to go to chapel and told the authorities that since God never turned up in church, why should I bother going? To me, there was more life in the graveyard than in church. As a punishment I was forced to run round a running track for three hours before breakfast! I stubbornly dug my heels in and refused to go to chapel at all. My punishment increased weekly until I gave in. Outwardly I acquiesced with religion, but inwardly I hated it. This led to me persecuting anybody I thought was a Christian. We drove one boy away from the school. Another we nearly suffocated to death in a trunk. I was convinced that Christianity was an oppressive system for brainwashing and controlling people. This dogmatic, restrictive regime had been responsible for the Crusades, the Spanish Inquisition and other atrocities. I therefore rejected it and chose instead to seek out an alternative spiritual worldview.

Since childhood I had been open to spiritual things and readily devoured books on ghosts and the supernatural. Hammer House of Horror films were my favourite TV programmes. It was not surprising that I began to experiment with ouija boards and astral travel. The deeper I became involved, the more I experienced 'spiritual presences' with me. One day, under the influence of a spirit, I tore down the emergency fire instructions from the back of a dormitory door and wrote down an alternative Ten Commandments. Then, following the directions of this spirit, I formed a cult called the 'Crystal Phlagrammists'. I recruited other rebellious teenagers like myself who were sick of chapel and we began meeting together, first as a laugh, then more seriously. One boy brought in a crystal prism and we began to use it as a focal point of spiritual energy in the room. We would chant, call up the spirit beings of the ancient Egyptian pyramids and practice meditation under red lights, listening to music by Brian Eno and Jean Michel Jarre. It was bizarre. We were reported and I was called in by the housemaster and ordered to stop. The cult disbanded but I continued to fervently pursue the spirit world alone. Sometimes I would visit the old pagan temples in the school grounds, which were devoted to such gods and goddesses as Bacchus, Venus and Diana. In one semi-burnt out building, I used to sit in an occult circle surrounded by magic symbols and call up spirits. I would have visions and encounters with spirit beings. I read Nostradamus, Wordsworth, Shelley and Keats, and I nicknamed my most frequent spirit guide 'The Muse' because of his inspiration and revelations. Two other spirit guides were called 'Brenwyn' and 'Bardon'. I believed these entities were there to assist me on my path of spiritual enlightenment.

The Muse began to show me the true spiritual path. God did exist but he was the energy found in all things. To know him we had to release the spiritual potential within us through meditation. This 'cosmic consciousness' was especially strong in religious people who followed intuition rather than reasoning. Materialism and fundamentalist religions had only produced war, greed, inequality, oppression and pollution of the planet. Cultures like the North American Indians and Australian Aborigines did not fight nature, but flowed with it and harmonised with it. They were therefore more advanced than the West. We needed to learn from them and work with nature otherwise there would be no future for planet earth.

God, according to the Muse, was in all religions, and it was merely our ignorance that caused us to think any one religion was the only true one. As we harmonised together with the God consciousness in all of us, we would cease to be divided and become one family, thus bringing in a new era of world peace. I didn't know it at the time, but in the 1970s, thousands of philosophies, therapies and groups were being networked together by spiritual forces with the same overall vision, although expressed in a variety of ways. We now know this grouping as the 'New Age Movement'.

At the age of 17 I began to write, under the Muse's guidance, a Tolkien style fantasy novel called 'Mantheus', which he promised would be used to spread this teaching. As I neared the completion of the first draft of the book, an extraordinary thing happened. A strange drowsiness came over me, so I lay down and shut my eyes. I experienced a powerful vision, which was 'virtual reality' and seemed three-dimensional. One minute I was flying very fast over cities of the world; then I was hurtling down a dark tunnel. Before I knew it, I was in an ancient oak panelled corridor. There was a row of open doors on either side of the corridor and my spirit guide was standing in duplicate form outside each door. As I passed the doors he was beckoning me to enter. A force tried to pull me in, but a greater force prevented me. Each room had no back wall, but was a different spiritual dimension. I saw strange and amazing scenes in each room but always the powerful force stopped me from entering. Finally, I was allowed to enter a room on the far left. Inside was a long wooden table at which my spirit guide was sitting, with a huge leather bound book lying open on the table before him.

As soon as I entered, he smiled and beckoned me to come and sign the book, but that strange powerful force lifted me clear out of the room, until I saw the Muse far below. I was brought to a place where I saw a king sitting on a throne, surrounded by angels and people in white robes. I saw the earth on fire below me in another dimension. The king opened a gate and showed me a glorious garden where a crystal river ran between fruit trees, and the presence of love, beauty, peace and joy filled the place. When I finally came back to my senses I was trembling with awe and wonder. I felt that this was God warning me to cease my occult involvement immediately. I contacted a local priest, and despite getting christened and confirmed, I did not come to know God personally.

In 1981 I went to Australia and met some Christian relatives who explained that Jesus Christ was truly God, and that He had died on a cross to pay for all my guilt and sin. They said Christ had risen from the dead and was alive in heaven. They told me I needed to be born again by repenting and believing in the Lord Jesus. However, it was while I was on a survival trip in some rainforests in Cape Tribulation, Queensland, that I read the book of Revelation (the last book in the Bible) and was amazed to find that part of my vision was contained there. I also read the words of Jesus, "Behold, I stand at the door and knock, if any man hear my voice and open the door, I will come in." There and then I simply prayed to the Lord Jesus Christ, handing him my guilt and sin and asking him to come into my soul. The sense of peace, acceptance and joy that filled me was indescribable. It felt as if a weight had fallen off my shoulders. I knew I had found the Lord at last, and He had found me.

After being baptised in Alice Springs, I returned to England to commence my University studies. Upon my return, the spirit guides came and tried to strangle me. Their hatred for me, the 'traitor', was strong. But through prayer, the Lord delivered me from their attacks. At Leicester University I received a degree in Classical Studies and World Religions. My two Professors on the course taught that all religions led to God; despite both having been ministers in Christian denominations. Although I was now a true Christian I was confused. I began to study the Bhagavad Gita, the Buddhist Scriptures and the Muslim Qu'ran in depth, as well as some tribal religions and the ancient religions of Babylon, Egypt, Persia, Greece and Rome. While reading the Bhagavad Gita, I discovered that Krishna (an important Hindu god) had said: "I am the source from which all creatures evolve" (Bhagavad Gita 0:8). He also said he was the 'door' through whom we had to go to find salvation. He claimed to be the 'Father', the 'goal of life', the 'Lord', the 'one true friend' and the 'inner witness' (B.G. 9:17, 18).

However, I found out from reading the Bible that Jesus stated of Himself: "I am the Way, the truth and the life, nobody comes to the Father except through me" (John 14:6). He also claimed to be the 'door' through which we have to enter to be saved (John 10:9). Then one day I came across the Bible verse, "And if Christ has not been raised, your faith is vain [worthless], you are yet in your sins" (1 Corinthians 15:17). From the context of the verse, I realised that Jesus Christ had physically been raised from the dead. This was not a spiritual reappearance, nor a reincarnation; it was literal and physical resurrection. I realised that no other religious leader in history had ever risen from the dead, thus justifying their claims. If Jesus truly rose, then He was unique and stood supreme.

For months I read the Bible, often from evening until breakfast to 'get at the truth'. I discovered that Jesus had fulfilled hundreds of prophecies written in the Old Testament about the coming life and work of the Messiah. This gripped me with excitement; no other religious leader had such credentials. Finally the day came, at about midnight one evening, when I cried out, "It is true! Jesus Christ is the only true God and Saviour for mankind. There is none other! He has truly risen from the dead!" I piled all my religious books such as Nostradamus, the Bhagavad Gita, Qu'ran, Buddhist Scriptures, Von Daniken's 'Chariots of the Gods' at one end of the desk, and my Bible at the other. "There!" I said, "Jesus Christ and the Bible belong here, alone in truth, and you lot belong a million miles away! " From that time until now, I have been unshakeable in my belief in Christ as the only Saviour. I have proved him by experience in many wonderful ways, and by thorough investigation.

Looking back now, I am amazed to see how Satan deceived me, from one layer of deception to the next. I refer to this as Satan's 'onion principle'. Being aware of my disillusionment with established religion, Satan offered an exciting alternative spirituality to which I easily succumbed. Outwardly, the philosophy of universalism, with its promise of unity and world peace was attractive. The key to holding everything together was pantheism - the belief that God is an energy or force that permeates the whole universe. Through meditation, I was trying to find oneness with God - a feature common to all the Eastern occult based religions. The spirit guides were there to assist me in this process and to use me as a vessel for their message. I would freely quote from the Bible, Hindu, Buddhist and Muslim Scriptures in a dishonest attempt to make all religions merge and so avoid contradictions and possible areas of conflict. The Muse convinced me that the Christians had misrepresented Lucifer. He was not the devil, but Pan the god of nature, who worked through the process of evolution for humanity's benefit. He had a network of many spirits in nature, which wanted to align with human beings to save the earth. I was informed that extremism was the real cause of conflict and disharmony. Orthodox, 'organised' religion was one extreme and Satanism the other. What I needed to do was strike a balanced and thus promote true 'wholeness'.

It was years later that I read some of the most influential books in the New Age Movement by Madame Blavatsky, Alice Bailey and others. I was stunned to find that their spirit guides had propagated the same philosophy as mine. At the heart of the onion is a belief in Lucifer. Blavatsky states openly that Lucifer is the real god of enlightenment and that the Biblical God, Jehovah, is the enemy of Universalism. Indeed, this is the view of Freemasonry, Gnosticism, witchcraft and most leaders in the New Age Movement. I even discovered that the famous Findhorn Community was based on the same principles. As I read the Bible with a humble attitude, I began to see how warped I had become, despite my well-meaning intentions. The Bible showed me what I was really like 'inside', compared with how righteous and loving the true God is. I no longer dishonestly discarded the real contradictions I found in other religious books; rather I faced up to their problematic sayings and practices. For example, the Hindu god Krishna says, "I am Prahlada, born among demons... I am the gambling of the gamblers" (B.G. 10: 30, 36). I could not accept such a god.

Readers of the 'wisdom' of the Upanishads are told to worship the sun daily, to cleanse themselves from sin, and to worship the moon for prosperity (Kausitaki-Brahmana Upanishad, 2:7-8). Digging deeper I found actual black magic, plus an abundance of pure superstition in these sacred writings. I discovered the god Shiva was also called Bhudapati, 'Prince of demons,' a Biblical description for Beelzebub or Satan. Shiva originated the system of yoga with its 'Kundalini' (psychic energy) and system of 'chakras' (energy points apparently in the spiritual body), to try to bring his disciples into union with Brahman - or to realise their godhood, the lie of Satan in the garden of Eden (see Genesis 3:5). Shiva too, in Hindu literature, has a schizophrenic nature. On one hand he is a celibate and an ascetic, on the other hand he is a sex maniac who commits adultery with scores of women when their husbands are away from home. Understandably therefore, many Gurus who follow his path appear to be 'holy' and serene, demonstrating amazing psychic ability, yet are constantly involved in sexual immorality. Being 'God' however, they claim to be above the law!

While I was a 'mystic' seeking utopia through occult philosophy, never did I realise that I was being used as a tool of Satan. Today, as I observe the spiritual scene, I see religious leaders from 'Christian' churches involved in interfaith services (in Cathedrals!) which promote pantheistic philosophy I read about in Satanic literature. This same philosophy is mushrooming everywhere in alternative medicine, music, the media and the education system. Indeed, it is now a global movement preparing the way for the coming Antichrist who will be Satan's 'world President'. No wonder my spirit guides tried to kill me as I tried to break free of their grip. Their true identity was revealed as the mask of peace, love and unity was swept away.

In 1990 I went to hear the New Age leader Benjamin Crème in London. He spoke about the coming Maitreya, who would be the future world leader. Creme said this leader would be recognised as the Christ for the Christians, Messiah for the Jews, Buddha for the Buddhists, Krishna for the Hindus, the Imam Mahdi for the Muslims and a world Saviour for the humanists. This leader would demonstrate phenomenal miraculous power and achieve world peace. Anybody who would not accept him would be 'removed' to another 'dimension'. As I looked around at the mainly professional audience, who appeared to be hanging onto his every word, I recalled how I too had once 'been there', preparing the way for the antichrist in total ignorance. How thankful I am to have found the true God and Saviour, the Lord Jesus Christ who said, "And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free" (John 8:32).